"expect to be let down
thinking of you now
and all i see is frowns
on my face for days
i could stop and ask why
but then tears come
flowing like a waterfall
sharps rocks at the bottom
today i promise that
no one will survive"

"school bells ringing
class is ending
i see you walk away
im chasing
spent all night on this
the feelings i dismissed
over and over again
yet here we are
me wanting you
more then i have ever
wanted to admit
too close for comfort
you walk by my locker
slip something through the slot
my heart stops
… could she
why would she
i cant breathe
remembering
is it two
or was it five
i hit my locker
there break inside
a note she has left
i feel it in my chest
this is so stupid
i dont want to
open it
but i have to know
.. silently
alone
in the hall
all is gone
but here i stand
my eyes race down
re read to make sure
could it be
did i just find
serendipity
did she know?
did i give off the clues
or was this all by chance
that she feels too
the way i feel
its by accident
i know
but i must act
where did she go
my note
still in my hand
schools out
and ill have to wait"

"drifting through the aimlessness of you
we just don’t know what to do
so the silence creeps back in
and we become silent
melodies swing in and out
left ear to the thoughts of doubt
did you say something
was i imagining what i was hearing
am i just here alone
or are you simply thinking
pondering ideas to formulate
arithmetic formulas are needed
to break through these gates
ill come up with a plan
watch my lies land
straight to the punch line
as we go and we dine
out on the town tonight
did you say you had
the best of times
when i was by your side
i should stop my mind
from wondering around
without someone to hold
on to hands in hands
walking with knifes
we should never run
we should never run
with deadly ideas
you could start to say
things have always been
always been this way
i had no sense of safe"

"just got off the phone with you
all these thoughts going through
straight past the head man
it goes right to the heart and
damn
i’m bout to loose it here cause
everything i was feeling before
means nothing its all fucked
why did we just have this talk
you backing out you bout to walk
i cant believe this is happening
two hours ok we were so happy
bipolar switch got flipped
and now you want to call it quits
ah! i scream to myself
wheres my razor
im gonna cut myself!
if you don’t care
who the fuck else will
there’s no heaven or hell
i could bleed out right now
and how would you hear
your half way across the world
its gonna take three days
before they break down my door
i build a fortress inside this room
if i could have you fine
then i don’t want to live
wheres my jack.. that’s a fifth
easy up and easy down
i didn’t choke on it neither
so why you think i clown
you didn’t believe i could
i took pictures of the pool
of blood building up on the floor
this is what happens!
when you say you don’t love me no more
when you lie to me
say your no sure
out of the blue
you decide to choose
a different future
one without me in it
ok that’s fine i get it
but on my death note
i’ll make sure your in it
the complete sole reason
people try to stop me
tell me man it will pass
fuck you don’t know what im feeling!
she wasn’t your girl!
fuck do you know bitch
get the fuck outta here
heart is in complete domination
and my minds contemplating
its racing back through memories
of when we were younger
how we were in love then
now look at us..
look how it all ends"

"starting over begging for change
telling god, “i can’t be the same”
people telling me it will blow over
well I’m not feeling like waking
laying in bed seems like a great thing
if i could hit reset start the slate clean
probably would feel like taking a shower
but instead I’ll lay here wondering
why the effort is not suddenly creating
a new dynamic to the person I’m dating
this relationship feels like a boat
stuck in the middle of the ocean
sides all torn up and it’s sinking
i believe i was saying all the right things
the only thing i can’t control
is the date furiously changing
altering it to a new future
one with you in it is preferred
but i get the feeling you differ
too much damage done already
i guess sometimes
you cant start over"

"

woke up to nothing again
i thought i could pretend
hearing a knock at the door
hoping it would be her
stroll on down the stairs
hoping you’d be there
but i know wishful
thinking leads mist filled
eyes red and puffy
why did i tell you
all of the truth i knew
could have been better
with closed off letters
you would still want me
and we’d still be happy
damn my conscience
the need to be honest
how could i live this down

"we see to much
hear reality’s knock
shaken by god’s touch
even when it wasn’t much
you left early
said you couldn’t sleep
now I’m laying
staring at stars
attached to strings
twirling and hanging
like my thoughts
sometimes i wish
that I’d be forgot
left to die and rot
would it really bother
anyone that i know
i doubt they’d go
to my funeral
closing my eyes
i picture what its like
to be blind in life
i get up and stumble
already i forgot
how my room looks
where i put everything
but there’s a constant
face I’m seeing
eyes I’m missing
don’t want to loose
finding where you went
so i keep eyes shut
bump my knee’s
scrape my hands
feel the blood
let out the sigh
find reasons to wake
to breath and take
moments i wish true
sadly i know
that everything
that i want in life
is going to take two
gonna take finding
you"

"our first moment
was a great moment
floating in time idly
spending time kissing
you press the gas
hitting the pedal fast
cars in neutral
engine loudly rawr’s
and a fire is lit
i sent the text
asking nervously
could i share lips
with your beauty
given the chance i
might try to leap
across the console
that sits beneath
like a barrier
trying to contain her
stop me from
reaching out for
everything i want now
first moments
turned to mornings
changing seasons
we began to see
future endings
like a silent movie
would you kiss me
like you mean it
engine screaming
passionately burning
did the gas run out
love is on empty
that’s what I’m feeling
tired of tires not gripping
what happen to our love
the memories we hugged
held tightly together
i told her i’d let her
leave if she wanted too
asked if its really true
does she drive a new
relationship i never saw
like on coming traffic
i swerve to my death
falling and im falling
down this cliff side
of emotion that i know
would have never come
if i didn’t ask her out"